Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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