It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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