Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
