carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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