Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
