she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
