I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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