I am in a vortex of obligation.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
