So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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