in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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