When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
