Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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