her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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