On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
