yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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