This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
