hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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