At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
