I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
