he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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