I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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