Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
