your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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