do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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