If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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