She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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