Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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