I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
