There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
