ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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