Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
