it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
