she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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