Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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