you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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