I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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