Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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