Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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