i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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