Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
