I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
