Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
