just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
