you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
