literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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