he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
