is your mom at the bar?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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