oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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