what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
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