Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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