my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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