All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
