allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
