Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
