Welp...herpes.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
