with your own penis?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
