Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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