I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
