I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
