Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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