Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
